I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
MIDGETS
????
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize