Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize