TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You made out with two different species that night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
