we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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