More tranny stories later!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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