Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
