Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
