I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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