Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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