now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
