At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
