Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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