Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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