oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
