he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
