I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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