you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
