And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
