guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
