why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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