finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
