Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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