the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
