Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
