i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
