if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
