1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
