I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
ttyl tear gas
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
