Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
