My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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