im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
