ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
