; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So much rum. So many feels.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
