I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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