No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
