Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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