so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
