youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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