The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
