i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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