You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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