the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize