bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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