nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
