He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
