I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
