its not stalking. its research.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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