You're like the curious george of whores
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
