Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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