they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize