I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize