Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
