You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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