taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
