All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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