He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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