Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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