she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
